New Date Alert..Update- Crash and Burn

Well..it would seem that my last date that I wrote about did not work out so well. He never called back. Well..he kinda did, after I checked with him once he told me, "oh no, I'm still very interested,  and would like to see you tomorrow"...then there was Nothing!  Not sure what happened?  Although I have an idea.  See, sometimes you can like someone over a phone conversation,  and then meet them and realize..in person, they are not quite what you're attracted to. And it's ok. We all have our preference.  It could be subtle things, like mannerisms,  the way they chew their food...or maybe over sharing.  it's just most important to be yourself,  and give the other person the fair option of choosing.
He was such a nice guy though, and i recall him saying during dessert, while discussing something completely irrelevant,  that he hated hurting people's feelings . So! I have concluded a couple of things, that MAY have been the cause of the cut off communication.

1. I was too tall. As soon as I saw him,  he quickly saw he was not a statuesque man. He was a "short " 6'1. I mean I've 5'11..but we appeared the same height. On top of that he was kinda small framed..even smaller than what I would've like..so I was thinking I could see him with a short petite body type frame, rather than my amazonish self! Haha!
2. No chemistry. Yes over the phone we were flowing and having a great time. But in person. ..there was no sparks! .. still had a great conversation, ..but I felt nothing.  So I'm sure he also. Felt Nothing!
3. I was hungry. .to a fault!
OK , so I waited all day to eat... in an attempt to save my appetite.  Ummmm wrong idea there! The entree I was served was so freaking tasty, that I may have forgoed my table manners just a little.  Oops! . I guess tossing my fork and knife, and picking my pork chop to eat the meat off the bone..Welllll ...Yea...I could only imagine what he visually saw. I guess I may have looked something like a member of the Flintstones!
4. Too comfortable,  Too soon..
I have a way of being a little. .too much of myself,  especially with men, because I'm so comfortable talking and dealing with them, due to my all male household up bringing. Being an only girl, can be a blessing and a curse!  I think I may have did a bit of oversharing!. Maybe telling him about a cousins wedding and me getting in a drunken stupor at the Bachelorette party, then dancing with a stripper,  Probbbbbaly wasn't the best thing to tell a guy on his second day of knowing you!. Yep! I definitely should've held that till at least the 3rd month!
5. Simply found someone else.

At the end of the day....or date..lol.. it's all about chemistry. No chemistry. ..no go!  Worst has happened,  and things move forward.  But if two individuals have no actual attraction,  no sparks, no chemistry. ..anything that did go wrong..felt worse!. Anyhoo...I got a great dinner out of it, good convo, and something fun to do on a otherwise boring Thursday nite!

Stay tuned for my next story going back to last year's escapades!.
Also, I've met this new guy..and he has Extreme potential of making me take my profile down! We will see! !

Skipping Around -New Date Alert

Veering off the script here a little and out of chronological order!
I'm suppose to be giving you my accounts of my dating marathon from last year. .but I must interrupt that to tell you about my newest member of my dating circus..>>>spoiler alert. ...since I'm newly single..again.

So!. I'm back on the dating scene!! #exciting.... well kinda..sorta...
Anyway met this great guy on a popular free site. On day one we talked for a Collective 10 freaking hours!!! A record for me..for Sure!...
Average profile pic, but I could see he had a nice style about himself.  No crazy lip biting pic, or shirt off trying to show his muscles...just a nice simple manly picture. Profile statement was short sweet and to the point.  So after we messaged each other a few times early a couple mornings ago, he asked if he could call, and the 10 hour marathon began! He's self employed,  as I am..so we both were off. The conversations just flowed,  from one topic to the next, and then sub topics... and then sub sub topics...lol! Needless to say we are both talkers! By that evening a date had been planned !. He lives about an hour or do away, so we tried to just plan dinner and just some nice quality "get to know you" in person kind of date.
So here we are yesterday talking a few times throughout the day leading up to our time of meeting. He ended up being about 45 min late, because there was an accident on the intersate. Go figure!. But I didn't feel aggravated at all about it, and didn't think I should pin that against him.
I always wear something simpe, with light makeup. Just enough to be pretty and enhanced. Nothing too flirty with the clothing. Just a cute top,  jeans and flats. Why flats? Because I'm 5'11 and if the profile reads , 6'0-6'1..I just rather keep in safe zone and not show up towering over a guy in my 3-4 inch heels. And I'm not a big heels wearer anywau..so it's a good mental excuse..ha!
So I get to the restaurant first,  because I like to see them before they see me, so I can do a quick physical assessment. I'm checking for his walk, how he's dressed and if he looks like his pictures. 
I remember last year I went on a date with a guy, had great conversation, nice voice. Nice profile pic..great profile statement.  We meet up, he comes right in gives me a great hug...and we proceed to the table. We look at each other, he smiled. ..And WHOA!!!! His TEETH. .looked like a piranha and a shark had mated! Geez louise!!!! I mean How did I NOT see this??? Oh.....
He did not have one pic on his profile with him smiling!.. duh.
So now I make it a point to only accept the profiles I can actually see teeth!
OK OK. ..back to last nite..
So I see him walking across the parking lot from inside the restaurant waiting area...and the initial was already good.  Nice jeans, nice simple shirt but stylishly put together.  And he wore a hat...not a baseball cap. But a Kangol style, for those of you 35 &over. .. I like.  So far!
He walks through the door, with his eyes immediately darting the room looking for me, I stand up and we hug. "Nice hugger," I thought.  Right away however I realized, his 6'1 profile, was merely exaggerated.  Either that or he had shrunk an inch!. I actually mentioned it later on in the date..and he said.."year u know, I think I shrunk,"! And in his defense, anatomically speaking,  this could very well be true, since he is 48.
All in all, he was very attractive in person, and I noticed he talked with a slight lisp.  Not a deal breaker. He also had a nice gap in his teeth,  that made you think of Michael Strahan. 
The restaurant food was AMAZING!
We had a nice glass of wine, and just talked, talked talked. We definitely have a lot in common,  and minus the height issue, he has a great chance of becoming a potential long term...
We closed out with a nice long walk and Italian Ice, in the area of strip mall where we had dinner. Date lasted from 6:45p till about 10:30p. We gave each other a lingering hug. But he was a perfect gentlemen, and didnt attempt a kiss. Although he could've and I would've been OK with it. 😉
Pretty good for a first date I would say. We talked a little on his commute back to his city, and hour away in another state. 
On a scale from 1-10 I gave it a strong 7-7.5.
Why not a 10. Honestly the height thing is kinda a internal issue for me,...I KNOW I need to get over it. But then there was a moment of slight awkwardness,  because there was no real plan after dinner, so we kinda walked around aimlessly, and it was hot.  Guess I was hoping he would've took the initiative to plan for us..But then again he was traveling to uncharted territory.  Had he indeed done so, that would gave him an automatic 3 cool points! Bringing that scale up!

Stay tuned for the update on this guy. AND for more stories from last year's circus. ...👀💋💋💋
Till next time!

Online Dating 101..or 501..

My decision to become a member of the online dating community, came after a series of bad relationships and 2 divorces! Not  too far from most peoples reasoning's, for a location to meet people. Add that to being a single parent and a busy work schedule, it pretty much leaves little to NO time to be out at the normal meet up spots, i.e; church, clubs and bars. So! I figured, hey why not.?? this shouldn't be that hard? i mean i can pretty much custom make the man I'm looking for by, simply typing my in my interest and  clicking a on boxes that made the process of elimination easy. Non smoker, tall, doesn't want children, make enough money to at least take care of himself, child support and take me out on occasional dates...I mean how hard could that possibly be??

Well my quest to find "Mr. Right" became the quest of weeding out all the rhetoric. People may say that this its creepy to meet someone online, but..UMMMM.....its really no different, than meeting people at the bar, I mean at least I get to see a profile, on the person before meeting them. Right? well Lets go on and see what happens after I was able to create my profile.

DAY 1

Creating the profile was a little less than enjoyable. First of all I hate sounding so cliche.."I'm Jane Doe...and I like long walks in the park, and wine by the fire place"BOO!! but at the same time I didn't really want to come off as being too deeply enthralled in who I am..So i kept it simple and just gave the highlights. Posted and few really great, but not too pretentious photos..and WHAM! there  I was...A brand new girl on the block.

3 hours later....

I had over 30 hits! wow ..cool..
then 30 jumped to 130! like for real! haha!
 By days end I found myself sifting through every picture every profile, till I narrowed it down to 15. From there it was all about geographic. I had only expanded my search to about a 300 mile radius. Living on the Southeast coast, That opened me up to Virginia, NC, GA, SC, and upstate Florida. Narrowing it down to my top 15, wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be.  The first process of elimination, was getting rid of the ones, I was right off unattractive to. Then from there, the reading of the profile. If they said too much or not enough..were they coming off as sexually focused or too involved with their own looks...you know the extreme body builders, and health nuts, all in which i had no interest...Since I am a Foodie!
Finally, location. had to factor in the actual meeting and would it require a drive or a plane ticket.

So there I had it..My top 10! I was so excited! most of them had already reached out over email and wanted to immediately chat! Great!!!!

or so I thought...

guy 1-5 all turned out to be right away creepy! lol!
Starting off with proposals. One wanted nude photos! Haha!   nothing to be offended about..It goes with the territory. and the "Delete" option is so much fun!

The next 5, proved to be worthy of further chatting, and seemed to be some really great potentials! Yay me! I was well on my way to the Golden ticket of a man....

HAHAH!
yea..ok. well at least I was scratching the surface.

Day 2

By day 2, I had exchanged with one guy who seemed pretty interesting. He lived in Tennessee, however, BUT was willing to travel etc. So after chatting with him for most of the evening on Day 1, we both decided to connect over the phone.

He called and had a decent enough voice, sounded mature and 'grown man-ish'..that's a start.
We talked for over an hour, found out he was a divorcee, with adult children, and was really looking to settle down with a nice woman. So on and so forth., the conversation seemed to be going ok. Till he said something that made me sense a red flag approaching. He had an issue with my job. My job at the time was in a branch of Law enforcement, ( i will say) and he chauvinistically said "well that's no job for a woman". Next he seemed to be very intent with letting me know how much money he made and how " well" he like to take care of his woman. OK..now to the naked listener this sounds like a  man who just wants to simply take care of his woman and who see his woman as the weaker vessel, so she shouldn't be in that "type' of work. So sweet!

Nope this was the ingredients for a "controller type" and i was already out of there!

Anyway, after we argued by the end of Day3...because he felt so strongly about my job, and how i just needed to quit it..because it was "stupid"...I just went one and made use of the delete button.


So that was my start..after him, I talked to the remaining 4 through out the course of the week.  One had issues with his children's mom, < which meant drama, one had issues with a transsexual, that he had accidentally gone out with, and kept asking me over and over if I was indeed a woman<drama,..then the one who I actually got in an argument with on the first convo, about his issue with love, and told me that he felt that polygamy should be the new wave of love. "Men weren't made to be with one woman...."

yea...ok....Ill just say, none of them truly fit what I was looking for to even attempt a first actual date.

Back to the drawing board!

And it was ok...I only had another 100 more hits on my profile along with about 20 inboxed messages! haha!

However this time would prove to worth my while...and even got a date! sort of.

Check out my next blog for the continuation of how my first date went..
.I few weeks later.
2 words..

Hot and Steamy!

Introduction-How it started

Hello!!

And welcome to my blog about online dating!!
I am the "Undercover Bachelorette".
Come enjoy the view of my dating life through my eyes. I have a belief that people,..especially women should openly date multiple men to keep options open. Some may see that as promiscuous or whoreish...I prefer to see it as being FREE of all of the labels that have stifled women for years, and have caused them be hurt in the long run. I don't necessarily condone or advocate sleeping around however with multiples..however if you do..its your choice and remember to protect yourself!

SO...

Looking forward to sharing with you my experience for the past year with multiple dates with several different guys. All names and locations, have been changed to protect identities.
Some Hot and some NOT!
So sit back and enjoy the ride!!!

First Blog is already posted!